"Nest" had always been a word I associated with birds, or at times a cozy compact holiday cottage. So Nothing prepared me for the sudden transition in my life when both the children flew away from the proverbial NEST. "SHIT"! I cursed myself, I am not old yet!! Just into my forties and both my children already settling down. Some of my friends who had got married much later remarked with envy," We are still struggling with Board exams", while others made me feel old with children as young as 8 to 9 years. I did not know whether to thank GOD that my children had settled so early or complain about my loneliness.
The emptiness that pervaded my home , slowly crept into my mind. The seeds were sown and the time was ideal for the dreaded "MID LIFE CRISIS". I had built my life around my in laws, husband and kids for so many years, tending to their every need for the past 25 years. One after the other, both my in laws passed away after brief illnesses. Now, with both the kids gone and my husband's diet restricted due to health reasons, I suddenly found myself with nothing much to do.
My misery increased when my husband travelled outstation for official work. Though the smart phone and internet helped alleviate some of my miseries, I felt an emptiness, a deep void. I found myself striking up conversations with the unlikeliest of the peoples, chatting up friends in Whatsapp ( Of course, they excused themselves after sometime) and watching repeat telecasts of movies and serials. The feeling that I am whiling away time, without doing anything productive was also eating me up.
One day, my cousin and his wife ( Both in their late fifties) came to Mumbai to stay with us for a couple of days.Their children were married and settled abroad. After lunch when we retired to the drawing room, my cousin's wife started gently, " That was a delicious meal" Now I know the reason for your "healthy" look. It took me a moment to understand what " healthy" meant. Yes! The utter boredom was getting to me, I had started to snack uncontrollably and was aware of my increasing girth. But there seemed little that I could do to control my hunger (boredom) pangs!!
That was the last straw!! I burst into tears. My cousin's wife started apologising profusely and said" Reema dear, I am sorry". I know how difficult for you it is cope with this loneliness". I have been through this. Now wipe your tears and listen". "I understand that this has come for you too early, but we need to cope with it. We cannot always wait or exist for phone calls from children. They do have their lives and we have to accept that".
You need to have some activities of your own. Keep yourself busy, not by eating and watching TV, but doing something for yourself"!!
I cried, " I am not trained to do anything", It is too late to start now". My cousin's wife rebuked gently. " It is never too late, you idiot, " What about the music lessons you used to take before marriage?? You used to sing so well. "Sign up for some regular music lessons". " See the five course meal you just prepared, and presented beautifully, " Why don't you start your own food blog?? " Blog?? Who?? Me?? I stammered.. "Yes, you..You are such a good cook. Why don't you click pictures whenever you prepare something special and upload them with the recipe". Start with traditional recipes. You can do it and I am not leaving till you get started and publish your first blog"!!
I looked at the " Ras Malai I had made, waiting to be served as dessert. Taking the cue, my cousin clicked the picture and took out his IPAD and handed over to me. Now type out the recipe and let me create a blog page for you!! In the next hour, my first food blog was ready!! I rang up my kids to tell them about it and they promised that they would tell all their friends about it. In about half an hour I had about 40 page views and a few requests for more desserts and namkeens. I could not believe myself!!
I looked at the " Ras Malai I had made, waiting to be served as dessert. Taking the cue, my cousin clicked the picture and took out his IPAD and handed over to me. Now type out the recipe and let me create a blog page for you!! In the next hour, my first food blog was ready!! I rang up my kids to tell them about it and they promised that they would tell all their friends about it. In about half an hour I had about 40 page views and a few requests for more desserts and namkeens. I could not believe myself!!
The next day, my cousin and his wife set out for their morning walk and called me, " Join Us"?? I made a quick excuse , " No , I have to make breakfast and lunch", hardly any time in the morning, you know, I mumbled". " Reema, you need to maintain a healthy body for a healthy mind", A little time in the morning for oneself has not hurt anybody", Come on, we are waiting". Reluctantly, I joined them. When we reached home later, I looked at the watch!! We had walked for almost an hour! And |I felt light and good. As I was about to spread the batter for Neer Dosa, that delicate South Indian Delicacy of fluffy, soft snow white dosas, my cousin stood ready with the camera. I looked up and cried, " What ?? Another blog?" Yes,Of course"This time I am doing a video recording" he smiled.
As I spread the Neer Dosa defltly on the Tawa, I knew I had found my passion. As I grated the coconut for the chutney and peeled the onions, gently giving instructions, my heart filled with joy and pride.
That evening, my cousin and his wife left for Chennai., not before telling me gently how to fill my empty nest... or was it my mind???
