Little Chaitali - A True Story

Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that a 2 hour stint of volunteering at a local NGO would change my life permanently! It started out quite casually, when my son came home from school telling me about a project work where he would have to do 100 hours of community work and get it certified from an NGO. I googled to find the nearest NGO and stumbled upon a small NGO running an orphanage cum adoption agency.

The next day, after dropping my son at school, I headed to the orphanage. A little apprehensive and not knowing what to expect, I knocked at the door. A smart lady opened the door and welcomed me in. Before I could begin about my son’s project, she spoke about how badly they were in need of volunteers. Before I realized (and Project forgotten), I found myself asking “ would it be OK if come in for 2 hours, say from 10 to 12 in the morning”. Both my children would be at school then”. The lady beamed at me and took me in. The sight that welcomed me would always remain etched in my memory!! The moment we entered, 10 to 12 little angels, surrounded me, chanting “didi,didi”, while two tots hugged my knees”. The love in their eyes was so blatant, that it brought tears to my eyes.

“This is Chaitali”, we have assigned her to you, she is a year and half old, but has problem with her speech”, the lady said and brought a tiny wisp of a child. The child looked so fragile that I thought her bones would break if I carried her! I picked her carefully and pushed back the hair falling into her eyes. Such a sweet angelic face! I couldn’t imagine, which mother in her right mind would abandon such a child?
The lady interrupted my thoughts.”You know, she is a difficult child and has not bonded with anybody yet. Never lasted more than 10 minutes with any of them! You know , she starts crying and has to be taken away. Generally, the children bond very easily with the volunteers coming in, but Chaitali, she even refuses to make eye contact with them”.
“Oh! Don’t worry, I am sure she will be ok’”, I heard myself saying, already thinking of a hundred ways in my mind to bring a smile to the child’s face.
The lady left , saying playfully” Your time starts now”. Slowly I sat down, keeping Chaitali in my lap. For the first few seconds, I just hugged her, letting my body warmth seep into her. I caressed her hair, kissing the top and whispered endearments. Still no response! Slowly I picked up a few toys lying around and made a story of my own and enacted it, all the time holding her close to my heart. The other children, all between 2 to 6 years of age, gathered around me, clearly enjoying the show.

Half an hour later, which seemed like ages to me, Chaitali started picking up the toys and started playing. The lady peeped in and smiled at me.” She seems to like you”! Carry on!”

At the end of my 2 hour session, still chaitali in my lap, I began to gather the toys strewn around and started putting them in the basket. Taking a cue, chaitali too started picking up the toys and started putting them one by one in the basket.The last toy, a piece in the Barbie Ktichen set, had rolled off under her baby chair. She wriggled from my lap, bent under the chair and picked up the toys and for the first time in 2 hours, looked at me, gave me a shy smile and dropped them into the basket.

I couldn’t believe it! I wanted to shout with joy, “Look, she smiled, she looked at me”. I carried her to the lady and took my leave. She gave me a diary to note down my daily progress with Chaitali. “ “Say bye to didi”, Say see you tomorrow to didi”, the lady was prompting Chaitali. She shyly bid me “BYE”.

While walking home with the other volunteers, each narrating their heart wrenching experiences, when their”child” was identified for adoption, I wondered how I would react when Chaitali is eventually identified for adoption. The sight of children craving for tiny crumbs of affection, a warm touch and a gentle hug moved me so much that I knew I was going to be a “regular” here.

At home too, she seemed to be the pivot of my thoughts. I couldn’t stop talking about her to my husband and kids. “You know what chaitali did today”? So much so that my husband and kids would tease me saying they were jealous of “Chaitali”.

Now, it is three weeks, since the first day. The staff at the NGO say “Chaitali is a changed baby”. I see it myself. The moment, she spots me at the door, she comes running and hugs me, the way I hug her. She makes eye contact readily and has even started talking. She has got colour in her cheeks which have filled out now.

I looked back at the last three weeks. All I had given her was love in abundant doses with some hugs and kisses. If love can do so much, why are we so hesitant in sharing our love?? Yes, at the back of my mind, I dread the day, when the lady at the NGO may announce” Chaitali has been identified for adoption”. But I am sure, I will be happy for her, for she will find a new home and more people to love her!!!


Sujatha Natarajan

The verdict

Is the average man you find on the streets worried about the”verdict”? The news channel have not stopped talking about it. The government has left no stone unturned to rein in the untoward eventualities. The verdict might swing either way. But should we worry about it? Agreed, most of the Hindus would indignantly ask “ In our own land, we can’t even build a temple to our lord”? Ayodhya has always been Ramjanambhoomi”. And what about the average muslim for whom the wounds of demolition of Babri masjid have not yet healed?? So what is the solution??

What better temple for Ram than in our own hearts?? And is not God everywhere, does one need to go to a mosque to offer prayers??? Friends, Karl Marx has likened religion to opium. An overdose can get one intoxicated. Aren’t there enough temples, mosques & churches that you need to add one more?? Or aren’t there enough issues to worry about? Neither Ram nor Allah would want people to kill one another for a temple or a mosque.

If each one of us, start thinking and believing we are “INDIANS FIRST’ and then a Hindu, Muslim, Sikh or a Christian, then half the task is accomplished. Sadly India is divided by the very diversity it is known for; We have a Hindu law, Christian marriage Act, and “Shariat”and so on.

Religion is like a beautiful garland, but the moment a monkey gets hold of it, what happens to it? Sometimes it garlands itself, and sometimes it tramples it under its feet. We have to be beware of such monkeys! Religion should belong to its rightful place, in our homes and protected like our most personal possession. It should be a beacon in our lives, leading us in the right path.

Tamasoma Jyotirgamaya!! From darkness, let there be light”!!! May the God lead us all from the darkness of ignorance to the light of wisdom!!

Never meant to be...

Never meant to be………

Her mouth formed a perfect”O” and a fair, long fingered hand went upto her mouth. Dave!!

“Dave!!! After all these days, years,…..Where were you?? Not a single call, not a reply to my letters”!!! He had expected it!

She looked even more beautiful than he remembered. Her freshly scrubbed face, glowed, perhaps, of the new found love. “Please , he said,Jayu, please….can I come in??” His heart thundered against his chest, threatening to break out any time. It had been always like this…whenever he looked at her….

She stepped back from the door, motioning him in into the spacious, yet well appointed living room. He looked around and thought, “Sure enough! Mrs. Jayanthi Mahesh” is doing very well for herself. His eyes stopped at the framed photo of the newly weds, Jayanthi,(his “jayu) and Mahesh, her husband. Jayu was smiling into the camera and her husband had a possessive hand around her hips. Six years later, it still hurt. It shouldn’t have, damn it!

She followed his eyes and said a little too brightly, “yes, it’s been three months now. Slowly he looked up at her asked”Why Jayu, Why you did not reply to my letters???”

“Me?” She said indignantly, “you did not bother to write even once. After my dad was transferred from Trichy to Ahemdabad, I did write to you”.

“Yes, you had, but there was no return address in it. Many things have happened since, Soon after your family left, I lost my dad and my mom couldn’t get over it.. I was in the third year of my engineering. I took up an evening job and managed my studies too. Unable to pay the rent, we shifted to my maternal uncles’s place. After I graduated,my uncle got me this job abroad.The first thing I adid after I got a job was to start looking for you, through some common friends. Here I am, traced you through orkut. But I am late aren’t I”???

With a heavy heart, Jayu remembered how her father had got transferred to Trichy when she was in the 10^th standard. Dave and family were their neighbours. Initially, her orthodox Brahmin parents had a tough time adjusting to their non vegetarian Christian neighbours. But once the initial hurdles were overcome, they became friends. The friendship between Jayanthi and Dave too, started off innocently, with her asking him doubts in maths, and he being 3 years her senior, helping her out. But slowly, it blossomed into love. Flush with their new found love, they cherished each moment of togetherness. Little did they know what destiny had in store for them!

When she went to him to ask her math problems,( it was only a pretext to talk to him, she later confessed) he would look around , make sure their parents were not around, hold her hand and put to his chest, “listen Jayu, this maddening sound of my heart? It goes crazy, you know, every time you come near me”, he would whisper in her ears. This, this is what you do to me”. She would listen to it , with her own heart racing maddeningly and slowly withdraw her hand secretly proud of how much he loved her. She always looked forward to the stolen moments when their parents had gone out, or on her way back from school, he would join her in the bus journey back home. They made plans for the future, he would finish his engineering, get a job and come and ask for her hand.

It was not long before both the parents got wind of this blossoming love. As expected, Jayu’s father flew into a rage, but was clever enough not to show it on his face. He quickly applied for a transfer to a place “as far as possible”. Jayu and Dave, blissfully unaware of her father’s plans, continued to meet whenever possible, till one day, her father said, Jayu, our train is at 2.30,we are leaving today. I am transferred to Ahmedabad”.

She was stunned, “Dad, but you never told, you must have known it for some time”, she said accusingly. Yes he said unmovingly, “I have known “this”for quiet some time now”, leaving her to wonder what he meant after all.

At the sound of the phone ringing, she came out of her reverie and ran to pick it up, “Yes Mahesh, yeah, I am fine, was in the kitchen,…… got tickets for the movie…..grt…bye..hmm, no not over the phone,..no, bye”.

Obviously, it was her new husband, Dave realized. The time had come to tell her why he had come all the way to see her inspite of knowing she was married. Jayu, he called her and made her sit down. “Wonder why I came all the way?? For years, I had wondered, why you never wrote to me?? Did you love me? Did it mean anything at all to you?? I have spent nights wondering, where you were. Was it like this for you also?? Tell me , Jayu, I had to know this”.

She choked, ‘Yes Dave, it still hurts somewhere in the corner of my heart when I see you like this…Yes my thoughts , more often than not, are about you. I realized it is not easy to forget the first love of my life.Then days grew into months and years, and still I did not hear from you, I thought.. may be , but may be, you had forgotten me. At one point of time, I had to give in to my parents. But not that I blame Mahesh, He has been really good to me”, Perhaps, more than what I deserve!”

Having found his answer,he stood up slowly and turned towards the door.

“Jayu, Dave said, “In a couple of months, I am getting married, to a girl of my mother’s choice, but I just wanted to see you once, to ask you, to see if my heart still went crazy when I came near you”.

Inspite of herself, She asked in a whisper, “ Does it?? Does it still”?. Slowly, like he always had done, he picked her hand and put it to his chest. It thudded heavily for a few seconds and slowly settled into a rhythmic beat.

Jayyu, , he said, “Thinking , what could have been between us……, she slowly put her hand and closed his mouth.

“It was never meant to be……. Dave….never meant to be………Be happy. Be always happy”, and silently shut the door behind her.

Sujatha Natarajan