Never meant to be...

Never meant to be………

Her mouth formed a perfect”O” and a fair, long fingered hand went upto her mouth. Dave!!

“Dave!!! After all these days, years,…..Where were you?? Not a single call, not a reply to my letters”!!! He had expected it!

She looked even more beautiful than he remembered. Her freshly scrubbed face, glowed, perhaps, of the new found love. “Please , he said,Jayu, please….can I come in??” His heart thundered against his chest, threatening to break out any time. It had been always like this…whenever he looked at her….

She stepped back from the door, motioning him in into the spacious, yet well appointed living room. He looked around and thought, “Sure enough! Mrs. Jayanthi Mahesh” is doing very well for herself. His eyes stopped at the framed photo of the newly weds, Jayanthi,(his “jayu) and Mahesh, her husband. Jayu was smiling into the camera and her husband had a possessive hand around her hips. Six years later, it still hurt. It shouldn’t have, damn it!

She followed his eyes and said a little too brightly, “yes, it’s been three months now. Slowly he looked up at her asked”Why Jayu, Why you did not reply to my letters???”

“Me?” She said indignantly, “you did not bother to write even once. After my dad was transferred from Trichy to Ahemdabad, I did write to you”.

“Yes, you had, but there was no return address in it. Many things have happened since, Soon after your family left, I lost my dad and my mom couldn’t get over it.. I was in the third year of my engineering. I took up an evening job and managed my studies too. Unable to pay the rent, we shifted to my maternal uncles’s place. After I graduated,my uncle got me this job abroad.The first thing I adid after I got a job was to start looking for you, through some common friends. Here I am, traced you through orkut. But I am late aren’t I”???

With a heavy heart, Jayu remembered how her father had got transferred to Trichy when she was in the 10^th standard. Dave and family were their neighbours. Initially, her orthodox Brahmin parents had a tough time adjusting to their non vegetarian Christian neighbours. But once the initial hurdles were overcome, they became friends. The friendship between Jayanthi and Dave too, started off innocently, with her asking him doubts in maths, and he being 3 years her senior, helping her out. But slowly, it blossomed into love. Flush with their new found love, they cherished each moment of togetherness. Little did they know what destiny had in store for them!

When she went to him to ask her math problems,( it was only a pretext to talk to him, she later confessed) he would look around , make sure their parents were not around, hold her hand and put to his chest, “listen Jayu, this maddening sound of my heart? It goes crazy, you know, every time you come near me”, he would whisper in her ears. This, this is what you do to me”. She would listen to it , with her own heart racing maddeningly and slowly withdraw her hand secretly proud of how much he loved her. She always looked forward to the stolen moments when their parents had gone out, or on her way back from school, he would join her in the bus journey back home. They made plans for the future, he would finish his engineering, get a job and come and ask for her hand.

It was not long before both the parents got wind of this blossoming love. As expected, Jayu’s father flew into a rage, but was clever enough not to show it on his face. He quickly applied for a transfer to a place “as far as possible”. Jayu and Dave, blissfully unaware of her father’s plans, continued to meet whenever possible, till one day, her father said, Jayu, our train is at 2.30,we are leaving today. I am transferred to Ahmedabad”.

She was stunned, “Dad, but you never told, you must have known it for some time”, she said accusingly. Yes he said unmovingly, “I have known “this”for quiet some time now”, leaving her to wonder what he meant after all.

At the sound of the phone ringing, she came out of her reverie and ran to pick it up, “Yes Mahesh, yeah, I am fine, was in the kitchen,…… got tickets for the movie…..grt…bye..hmm, no not over the phone,..no, bye”.

Obviously, it was her new husband, Dave realized. The time had come to tell her why he had come all the way to see her inspite of knowing she was married. Jayu, he called her and made her sit down. “Wonder why I came all the way?? For years, I had wondered, why you never wrote to me?? Did you love me? Did it mean anything at all to you?? I have spent nights wondering, where you were. Was it like this for you also?? Tell me , Jayu, I had to know this”.

She choked, ‘Yes Dave, it still hurts somewhere in the corner of my heart when I see you like this…Yes my thoughts , more often than not, are about you. I realized it is not easy to forget the first love of my life.Then days grew into months and years, and still I did not hear from you, I thought.. may be , but may be, you had forgotten me. At one point of time, I had to give in to my parents. But not that I blame Mahesh, He has been really good to me”, Perhaps, more than what I deserve!”

Having found his answer,he stood up slowly and turned towards the door.

“Jayu, Dave said, “In a couple of months, I am getting married, to a girl of my mother’s choice, but I just wanted to see you once, to ask you, to see if my heart still went crazy when I came near you”.

Inspite of herself, She asked in a whisper, “ Does it?? Does it still”?. Slowly, like he always had done, he picked her hand and put it to his chest. It thudded heavily for a few seconds and slowly settled into a rhythmic beat.

Jayyu, , he said, “Thinking , what could have been between us……, she slowly put her hand and closed his mouth.

“It was never meant to be……. Dave….never meant to be………Be happy. Be always happy”, and silently shut the door behind her.

Sujatha Natarajan