A SECOND CHANCE

She looked at the clock for the nth time. It showed 6.00am. And it was exactly 8 minutes since she last looked at it. She opened the cupboard and took out the saree she would wear for her wedding four hours from now. Holding the saree to her chest and draping it casually, she walked to the mirror. Did she look a bride to be? No, she guessed, a bundle of nerves, yes, but not shy, timid, coy, as one would expect a bride to be. She knew she did not look bad, frankly, she considered herself to be attractive. At 47, she looked at least 15 years younger and those meeting her for the first time were stunned to hear that she had two daughters who were married and that she was already a grandmother.
Sandeep had dropped her home yesterday and seeing her nervous state, he had asked his maid and come and sleep at her house. Her friends had also offered to come around and keep her company. But she had refused. She wanted to relax, do some last minute packing and be in the house she had shared with Rakesh for almost 20 years.
Two of her friends were expected anytime now to lend her moral support, to be with her at the Registrar’s Office. The phone rang and she ran to pick it up.
Yes, Sandeep, I am fine, “ Change my mind”,?? no ways!, Still very much on. See you tomorrow, Yes, we will reach there before 9 am. Bye, Love you too.”she sighed! It was Sandeep, her groom to be
She had put up a brave front in front of him. But inside , she was almost in a state of panic. Her two daughters had told her to” go ahead by all means but don’t expect us”. The elder one Renu had said, Mom, Imagine the scene if I tell my in-laws that my mom is going to get married, You know how very conservative they are”,Typical Tam Brahms”. I shall break the news to them slowly. I will definitely come and meet you later”.
Rinu, the younger one had always been her Papa’s pet. “Frankly Mom, I can’t even imagine anyone in Papa’s place, atleast not yet’.
But, darling it’s been six years since your father died” and four years since I am living alone here. “she had said .
Sorry Mom, We wish you, the very best, but don’t think we will be able to make it. Any ways, to come all the way from London is just not on. We will come down during Christmas Holidays.
It had been six long years since Rakesh had succumbed to blood cancer. He did not survive a delayed diagnosis and complications in bone marrow transplant. All of a sudden she was left alone with two teen aged daughters. At 19 and 16, they were a handful and in between her job, their admission and studies, the years flew by. Renu, at 22, announced she was marrying Ravish, her childhood sweetheart and shifted soon after to Bangalore. Now, three years later she had a one year old son. Rinu, the younger one had also married two years back and was settled in London.
It was exactly, two years before, she had met Sandeep in her office. A Tall attractive man, with a shock of salt pepper hair, he had come to her Travel Agency to cancel his booking for a Europe trip. “Sir, I can reschedule it for the next tour, that way you won’t lose much money” she had offered. ‘I lost my wife” ma’m, and I don’t think we will be taking that trip in the near future”.
“I am extremely sorry, Sir, and I perfectly understand” and before she could help it, she blurted out, “ I lost my husband recently”. I will make the cancellations and inform you, Sir”,she added.
Thus began a friendship, based on mutual empathy. Both had had wonderful marriages and at that point of time did not want anything more than friendship. SLOWLY, the trust grew and blossomed into something more meaningful which they could not put a word to. They had their children to think of. Sandeep had a son in college and she had her two daughters to think of. When the children came to know about their friendship, especially, her daughters, were skeptical. Mom’ Are you sure he is not after your money”? “ What money?” she felt like laughing. After spending a fortune for her husband’s treatment and their two daughters” weddings, she was in no way rich. She said” No dear, I don’t think so, ”he has more than enough of his own”.
Six years was a long time and Sandeep had begun to fill the void in her life. The evenings and nights were particularly lonely. Often she ached for the comforting warmth of a human body beside her. She craved for somebody to talk to , to share a meal with and most of all to share a warm conversation with. Sandeep was everything she could have asked for and more. Sandeep’s son Vivaan had come to accept her. Both knew it was time, they gave a name to their relationship. The day they had announced their plan to get married, Vivaan gave her a hug, and conveyed his acceptance. She told him she would understand if it takes some time for him to accept her, but he had said very wisely, “I am really happy for papa, he is so lonely these days”. She marveled at the way Sandeep had brought him up!
The doorbell rang and with a start she went to open the door. Her two friends stood with garlands and bouquets. “Wow”, they exclaimed! You are positively glowing”. Seeing her forced smile, they asked, ‘”What is the matter? Don’t worry, your daughters will turn around in no time. These days children have become so selfish and are oblivious to their parents’ needs”. Though this sounded true, she couldn’t bear anyone talking about her daughters in that manner. “You know, actually both of them wanted to make it for the wedding. But renu’s son has just recovered from pneumonia, and Rinu’s father in law just had a major heart attack’”.
“Let’s not keep Sandeep waiting!” Chorused her friends and they set off to the Registrar’s Office in her Santro. Along the way, her friends cheered her up with compliments and as the moment drew nearer, her heart thudded heavily threatening to break out from her chest. Tears threatened to burst anytime. She knew she was becoming emotional and needed her daughters at her side. The car slowly drew to a halt at the Registrar’s Office and they got down.
Sandeep along with Vivan was waiting to receive her. The moment he saw her face, he drew her aside, and asked, “everything all right Shona?” and led to his parents who were waiting. She had met them just once before. She touched their feet and received their blessings. They walked to the Registrar’s desk and looked at the clock. There was ten minutes for the “Mahurat”, the auspicious time for the wedding.
Her nerves were acting up, her hands and feet turned cold and she needed to calm herself. She looked around for a chair to sit down and closed her eyes. Drawing a deep breath, she tried meditation. Her only solace, during the last five lonely years! Slowly, the smiling face of the Supreme God Krishna filled her heart. Five years of constant practice had made this visualization possible. And for a second, or a micro second, or was it a nano second, Rakesh’s face smiled at her, as if supporting her decision. After a few moments,she felt a gentle squeeze on her shoulders. Slowly she opened her eyes to look back. Her daughters Renu and Rinu were both standing and smiling through eyes filled with tears. MOM! We are glad we made it today, to be with you and planted a tearful kiss on her cheeks.
“Thank you God! For…… everything”. Silently she sent a million thanks upwards.She walked forward, with her daughters on either side, towards Sandeep, who handed the pen to her. He had his heart in his eyes. She signed, with a smile, MRS.KAVITA SANDEEP NAIR.