Women’s day
The day dawned as yet another day. By now adept at multitasking, I had finished cooking breakfast as well as lunch and by 8.45 am, revised my son’s 8 and 9 times multiplication tables with him,filled the lunch boxes ,kept the clothes ready for the dhobi. Today being Women’s day, all the ladies in our office had decided to wear something nice, I took out a new dress and matching accessories. It was one of those days, when you felt special and decide to do something about it! Of course, hubby dear had totally forgotten about it and to add insult to the injury, my son too had forgotten about it.
Soon I reached the station to catch my regular local.Exchanging greetings with my "train friends", I reached the office . As soon as I entered the office, the white board caught our attention, where the “thought for the day” was dedicated to women. Surprise! Somebody had taken pains to dedicate us the “thought for the day”. It said something nice about women and the perfect ways in which they adapted to their various roles.
The men in the office had a mischievous (mysterious look (??) about their faces, as they wished us “Happy Women’s day”! in chorus. In our office of about 100 staff, 65 were men and 35 were women. At 11 we were asked to assemble in the conference room upstairs. Wondering aloud what the occasion was, little did we know what was in store for us. There the men of the office had organized a special function where each of us were welcomed with a red rose. This was followed by a few speeches where one guy wondered aloud that he couldn’t imagine an office where there would not be any ladies. It would all be black, white and grey!”He said. This guy always appreciated a lady about her good dress sense, of course, without going overboard. Another one said that he was praying that in these days of “Ladies special”trains, Ladies Special Police Station, that they would not think of a Ladies Special Office. “What would become of us??” he wondered! This drew a loud round of applause. There were some emotional speeches too when a guy recalled how his mother had raised him singlehandedly after being widowed in the early years of marriage. More Surprise! Delicious snacks and tea followed and they all were eager to know how we had liked the surprise.
Well, what to say about these men?? Though at times they irritate you with their chauvinistic ways, today’s gesture would have melted the heart of a diehard feminist including me). Thank you, my friends for the lovely surprise and the thought behind it.WE RECIPROCATE THE SENTIMENTS AND WE DO ADORE BEING APPRECIATED! WE OWE YOU ONE!!!
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Relaxation - What's your style??
Ways to Relax – What is your style??
Recently, a dear of friend of mine, who conducts corporate training sessions on "Happiness at work", Stress Management, Conflict Resolution" etc called me to find out how i was. "Long time, not even a text message from you"? He asked. "Been too busy, I suppose", I blurted out. "Listen, he said, Do me a favour? I have an assignment for you and I need the information real quick. The assignment was to find out from about 100 people how they relaxed and the deadline was “Yesterday”. Soon, I started ringing up my friends, relatives and even acquaintances. Some of them were surprised, but when I said it was for a cause, they joined enthusiastically. First was my friend “Micheal, who said ”Me, I have a set of photos, mainly of my family and child and Mount Mary which are very close to my heart. Whenever I am tense or worked up, I take out this small album, which I always carry and spend around 5 minutes reminiscing. I definitely feel better”:. “That’s nice n simple” I thought. The next friend said “You know, I used to get flustered very easily earlier”. Now a days, When I get upset about something in the office, I take a deep breath, go to the wash room, wash my face and freshen my lipstick.” I feel better”. The answers ranged from punching a boxing bag , listening to music, go for a long walk , gymming, read a romantic novel, listen to old hindi songs, give in to craving and eat a large pastry, singing, playing a musical instrument, cooking a complicated dish, like Puran Poli, Call up an old friend and talk for some time, cuddling a baby – the positive vibes are instant” – I was told. My niece, a vivacious teen said- “ I cry my heart out” – But I do feel better”. My nephew, not to be left out, said “ When I am upset about bad marks, I go and play for a while with my friends – after that I don’t feel so bad. The list was endless, Surprisingly , most of them had their own way to unwind - surfing net to interacting in social networking sites ,listening to soulful bhajans etc.
Surprised that a simple conversation could bring up so many ideas, I rushed to my friend to give him my feedback. I said “ “I managed around twenty five”. “WOW, That’s great, ”which one is your style”? “Oh I replied, “They all seem so simple and easy and the next time I am worked up for some reason, I am going to try atleast some of these, I am sure they will work out for me too”. He smiled “Now that the cat is out of the bag, let me confess Dear, but that was precisely why I made you talk to your dear and near ones”. These days, you are so stressed out that you have even forgotten to smile” That was for you”. I sat there stunned and until realization dawned on me that the entire exercise was for my benefit. “ Very practical training indeed!! – Thanks, I do appreciate it – I admitted with a sheepish smile , albeit grudgingly”.
Recently, a dear of friend of mine, who conducts corporate training sessions on "Happiness at work", Stress Management, Conflict Resolution" etc called me to find out how i was. "Long time, not even a text message from you"? He asked. "Been too busy, I suppose", I blurted out. "Listen, he said, Do me a favour? I have an assignment for you and I need the information real quick. The assignment was to find out from about 100 people how they relaxed and the deadline was “Yesterday”. Soon, I started ringing up my friends, relatives and even acquaintances. Some of them were surprised, but when I said it was for a cause, they joined enthusiastically. First was my friend “Micheal, who said ”Me, I have a set of photos, mainly of my family and child and Mount Mary which are very close to my heart. Whenever I am tense or worked up, I take out this small album, which I always carry and spend around 5 minutes reminiscing. I definitely feel better”:. “That’s nice n simple” I thought. The next friend said “You know, I used to get flustered very easily earlier”. Now a days, When I get upset about something in the office, I take a deep breath, go to the wash room, wash my face and freshen my lipstick.” I feel better”. The answers ranged from punching a boxing bag , listening to music, go for a long walk , gymming, read a romantic novel, listen to old hindi songs, give in to craving and eat a large pastry, singing, playing a musical instrument, cooking a complicated dish, like Puran Poli, Call up an old friend and talk for some time, cuddling a baby – the positive vibes are instant” – I was told. My niece, a vivacious teen said- “ I cry my heart out” – But I do feel better”. My nephew, not to be left out, said “ When I am upset about bad marks, I go and play for a while with my friends – after that I don’t feel so bad. The list was endless, Surprisingly , most of them had their own way to unwind - surfing net to interacting in social networking sites ,listening to soulful bhajans etc.
Surprised that a simple conversation could bring up so many ideas, I rushed to my friend to give him my feedback. I said “ “I managed around twenty five”. “WOW, That’s great, ”which one is your style”? “Oh I replied, “They all seem so simple and easy and the next time I am worked up for some reason, I am going to try atleast some of these, I am sure they will work out for me too”. He smiled “Now that the cat is out of the bag, let me confess Dear, but that was precisely why I made you talk to your dear and near ones”. These days, you are so stressed out that you have even forgotten to smile” That was for you”. I sat there stunned and until realization dawned on me that the entire exercise was for my benefit. “ Very practical training indeed!! – Thanks, I do appreciate it – I admitted with a sheepish smile , albeit grudgingly”.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
The humble Jack Fruit
Jack Fruit or “Chakka” as we lovingly call in our home town in Kerala has always been my favourite. I remember staring wondrously at those big thorny fruits hugging the sturdy stem of the tree and many hanging precariously from the branches. The rope like stalks held them tightly, lest they would fall from the tree. My grandfather would inspect it every morning and call out to my granny, “moothathedukkatte??” (Shall I pluck the ripe ones?”) My granny would shout back” lets wait till appu , naanu and shanty (my dad, uncle and aunt)come”. They will be here by Vishu”. Vishu always coincided with my birthday on April 14th. Vishu is the ist day of the Malayalam month “Medam” signaling the advent of malayalam new year.We were woken up at 4 am, elders closing our eyes and leading us to the Pooja room to see the “Vishu kani” where amidst the offerings of traditional vegetables and fruits, Lord Krishna’, our presiding deity stood, beautifully decorated . And always occupying the pride of place was the humble jack fruit, its heady fragrance making our mouths water.
My brother, sister , cousins and I would wait till around lunch time when my grandfather would take out the huge jack fruit from the kani and take it to the back yard to be cut. My granny would be ready, handing us a bottle of oil to be rubbed in the hands so that the sap and the juice do not stick to our hands. The overwhelming fragrance of the ripe fruit deliciously assaulting our senses, we would eagerly wait for our turn when our grandfather would give each of us a huge slice, each containing at least 10 to 12 delicious “Chulas”.
And during our fortnightly stay with our grandparents, my grandmother would make various delicacies of jack fruit - jackfruit curry, jackfruit pradhaman, elayada and the most delicious “Chakkavarattiyathu”. This is a jam made out of Jack fruit, Gud and pure desi ghee which remains unspoilt for even A YEAR. This we all carried back to Mumbai as a treat. I know for a fact that I can never get enough of “Chakka”. Jack Fruit in all its forms is just irresistible.
Today, Our grand Parents are no more. My brother, sister and I are all married and settled in Mumbai. We try to make it to Kerala at least once a year, where our Parents have shifted. The family house remains the same with jackfruits, mangoes, coconuts and plantains growing in abundance. My mother has silently taken the role of our granny and she indulges our kids in all the Jackfruit delicacies. My son has inherited my love for “Chakka” , but my daughter finds the smell “too strong” and runs away.
My love for “Chakka” has only grown over the years, especially during summer when I long to have a few “chulas”. Jack fruit is available at times in Mumbai, especially in predominantly south Indian suburbs, but the joy of selecting just the ripe fruit from the tree, and slicing it the right way and relishing it sitting in the back yard of one’s house………………hm…nothing matches that.!!
Jack Fruit or “Chakka” as we lovingly call in our home town in Kerala has always been my favourite. I remember staring wondrously at those big thorny fruits hugging the sturdy stem of the tree and many hanging precariously from the branches. The rope like stalks held them tightly, lest they would fall from the tree. My grandfather would inspect it every morning and call out to my granny, “moothathedukkatte??” (Shall I pluck the ripe ones?”) My granny would shout back” lets wait till appu , naanu and shanty (my dad, uncle and aunt)come”. They will be here by Vishu”. Vishu always coincided with my birthday on April 14th. Vishu is the ist day of the Malayalam month “Medam” signaling the advent of malayalam new year.We were woken up at 4 am, elders closing our eyes and leading us to the Pooja room to see the “Vishu kani” where amidst the offerings of traditional vegetables and fruits, Lord Krishna’, our presiding deity stood, beautifully decorated . And always occupying the pride of place was the humble jack fruit, its heady fragrance making our mouths water.
My brother, sister , cousins and I would wait till around lunch time when my grandfather would take out the huge jack fruit from the kani and take it to the back yard to be cut. My granny would be ready, handing us a bottle of oil to be rubbed in the hands so that the sap and the juice do not stick to our hands. The overwhelming fragrance of the ripe fruit deliciously assaulting our senses, we would eagerly wait for our turn when our grandfather would give each of us a huge slice, each containing at least 10 to 12 delicious “Chulas”.
And during our fortnightly stay with our grandparents, my grandmother would make various delicacies of jack fruit - jackfruit curry, jackfruit pradhaman, elayada and the most delicious “Chakkavarattiyathu”. This is a jam made out of Jack fruit, Gud and pure desi ghee which remains unspoilt for even A YEAR. This we all carried back to Mumbai as a treat. I know for a fact that I can never get enough of “Chakka”. Jack Fruit in all its forms is just irresistible.
Today, Our grand Parents are no more. My brother, sister and I are all married and settled in Mumbai. We try to make it to Kerala at least once a year, where our Parents have shifted. The family house remains the same with jackfruits, mangoes, coconuts and plantains growing in abundance. My mother has silently taken the role of our granny and she indulges our kids in all the Jackfruit delicacies. My son has inherited my love for “Chakka” , but my daughter finds the smell “too strong” and runs away.
My love for “Chakka” has only grown over the years, especially during summer when I long to have a few “chulas”. Jack fruit is available at times in Mumbai, especially in predominantly south Indian suburbs, but the joy of selecting just the ripe fruit from the tree, and slicing it the right way and relishing it sitting in the back yard of one’s house………………hm…nothing matches that.!!
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
New Year Resolutions
It is that time of the year again to make New Year resolutions. Agreed, We are not celebrities whose resolutions are eagerly awaited for or get talked about. But, if only each one of us are as serious about sticking to our resolutions as we make them…!..Any ways for those who are still undecided about what to resolve this year, here are some handy tips.
Would you believe me, if I say” giving “is much easier than “giving up”?? This New Year we can resolve to give, share, care and we can also resolve to “give up” certain things. There are so many ways to give, so many things to give and so many people to give to. For example, even a smile makes a difference. A warm hand shake, a gentle hug, a patient ear to somebody’s problems, a little of your time, all these can be given without much effort. For those with deep pockets, sky is the limit!
But giving up, really needs a steely resolve. List out what you want to give up?? This requires a bit of honesty, but has excellent results. Do you always turn up late ? Then time to Give up the habit! Do you have this terrible habit of snacking in between meals, which ruins the figure achieved after days of starving? Time to give up that too! Do you have this habit of bitching about someone in front of others? I bet it has strained your relations when the person you bitched about got to know about it! Are you an impulsive shopper who tends to overuse your credit card? Time for that resolution again! List is endless!
Remember, giving and giving up are both emotionally very satisfying. Giving gives joy not only to the recipient, but to the giver also! And do I need to say anything more about giving up? The more of the unwanted things you give up, the better person you become! Anyways, you will be a winner all the way!!! So go ahead! Make those resolutions… and… stick to them, but of course!!
Sujatha Natraj
It is that time of the year again to make New Year resolutions. Agreed, We are not celebrities whose resolutions are eagerly awaited for or get talked about. But, if only each one of us are as serious about sticking to our resolutions as we make them…!..Any ways for those who are still undecided about what to resolve this year, here are some handy tips.
Would you believe me, if I say” giving “is much easier than “giving up”?? This New Year we can resolve to give, share, care and we can also resolve to “give up” certain things. There are so many ways to give, so many things to give and so many people to give to. For example, even a smile makes a difference. A warm hand shake, a gentle hug, a patient ear to somebody’s problems, a little of your time, all these can be given without much effort. For those with deep pockets, sky is the limit!
But giving up, really needs a steely resolve. List out what you want to give up?? This requires a bit of honesty, but has excellent results. Do you always turn up late ? Then time to Give up the habit! Do you have this terrible habit of snacking in between meals, which ruins the figure achieved after days of starving? Time to give up that too! Do you have this habit of bitching about someone in front of others? I bet it has strained your relations when the person you bitched about got to know about it! Are you an impulsive shopper who tends to overuse your credit card? Time for that resolution again! List is endless!
Remember, giving and giving up are both emotionally very satisfying. Giving gives joy not only to the recipient, but to the giver also! And do I need to say anything more about giving up? The more of the unwanted things you give up, the better person you become! Anyways, you will be a winner all the way!!! So go ahead! Make those resolutions… and… stick to them, but of course!!
Sujatha Natraj
Saturday, October 23, 2010
ORIGINALITY
“It better be something original” my teen aged daughter said, when I disclosed, ( not for the first time) that I wanted to start my own blog. “What about a small uncomplicated love story”?? I countered. She sighed “ are love stories ever uncomplicated”? and rolled her expressive eyes . My son who heard this said “ Oh No! Not a love story “and made a suitably disgusting face. He is 15 and refuses to discuss anything other than sports. He suggested” Why don’t you write some thing about god?? God? I wondered aloud. You know, the god who bats at no.4 for India?? he said.
That was not an option, I decided. It had to be something original, I decided, something no body had written about ever. I lamented to my husband there was nothing original left. Take the movies for instance, Everything these days was a remake of this bollywood or Hollywood original And songs, a remix or a straight lift from the original. And many authors copied too. Few had the time or the creativity to create something original. So do I stand a chance??
Unwilling to give up so easily, I listed out the virtues of originals. “ They lasted forever, They were valued and cherished for ever, They had so many followers. One only had to read about the prices an original Picasso or MF Husain fetched in those pricey auctions. Now, our own Gandhi, aptly named by none other than Tagore for being a “ Great soul” was an original. He is remembered for his original idea of “Satyagraha” a most harmless but effective way of protesting.
Unknowingly, my fingers were flying in the keyboard. I poured out my anguish at the lack of originality, at the multitude of versions of every other original. Before I realized, it was 9pm and time for dinner. My son barged in” Mom, what’s for dinner?? My husband added helpfully ”some original recipe, I suppose”, and not the ones you try to copy from those women’s magazines”? Neither, I said tongue in cheek.” I have a very original idea” , We are all going out for dinner today.
Sujatha Natraj
That was not an option, I decided. It had to be something original, I decided, something no body had written about ever. I lamented to my husband there was nothing original left. Take the movies for instance, Everything these days was a remake of this bollywood or Hollywood original And songs, a remix or a straight lift from the original. And many authors copied too. Few had the time or the creativity to create something original. So do I stand a chance??
Unwilling to give up so easily, I listed out the virtues of originals. “ They lasted forever, They were valued and cherished for ever, They had so many followers. One only had to read about the prices an original Picasso or MF Husain fetched in those pricey auctions. Now, our own Gandhi, aptly named by none other than Tagore for being a “ Great soul” was an original. He is remembered for his original idea of “Satyagraha” a most harmless but effective way of protesting.
Unknowingly, my fingers were flying in the keyboard. I poured out my anguish at the lack of originality, at the multitude of versions of every other original. Before I realized, it was 9pm and time for dinner. My son barged in” Mom, what’s for dinner?? My husband added helpfully ”some original recipe, I suppose”, and not the ones you try to copy from those women’s magazines”? Neither, I said tongue in cheek.” I have a very original idea” , We are all going out for dinner today.
Sujatha Natraj
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Dealing with disappointment
I am sure every one of us has been disappointed, terribly disappointed, or frustratingly disappointed at some point of our life. And when we don’t know how to deal with it, it just seems to happen more often. Haven’t we often cried out ”Oh, why it had to happen to me?. From a child, who burns midnight oil before the exams and ends up getting just average marks, a teen age boy who goes all out to woo the new girl in his class, like having a new hair cut, wearing the right brand of jeans, shoes and tees, only to see the girl walking hand in hand with a very attractive guy and a newly married girl who tries to cook up the best food for her husband only to see her husband gobbling it up without uttering a word of appreciation. Some of us give vent to our frustration and give a piece of our mind then and there, more often than not, to regret it later. Some of us wallow in self pity, “ It always happens to me, I put in my best, but just doesn’t seem to work for me”!
So, how does one deal with these “disappointments”? Especially when we think we have tried our best?? May be the ”best “ was not enough! But should we stop trying? Never! An introspection with a calm mind would tell us where we could have done a little better. Like the child would realize, I should have started studying from the beginning of the term, rather than cram just before the exams. The teen aged boy is sure to find another girl, who will love him for what he is and the new daughter in law would understand that not that her husband did not like her cooking, he just did not know how to express his feelings!
There are always lessons learnt from each situation in our life. Acceptance and Perseverance will surely help us deal with most of the disappointments in our life. Acceptance of the situation, of the people around us as well as perseverance with a focused mind would definitely help us get over difficult situations. Of course, a few generous doses of gratitude towards the Almighty for all that we have will only speedup up the process!! It worked for me! And I am sure it would for you too, So, Cheers, Get, Set, Go!!!
So, how does one deal with these “disappointments”? Especially when we think we have tried our best?? May be the ”best “ was not enough! But should we stop trying? Never! An introspection with a calm mind would tell us where we could have done a little better. Like the child would realize, I should have started studying from the beginning of the term, rather than cram just before the exams. The teen aged boy is sure to find another girl, who will love him for what he is and the new daughter in law would understand that not that her husband did not like her cooking, he just did not know how to express his feelings!
There are always lessons learnt from each situation in our life. Acceptance and Perseverance will surely help us deal with most of the disappointments in our life. Acceptance of the situation, of the people around us as well as perseverance with a focused mind would definitely help us get over difficult situations. Of course, a few generous doses of gratitude towards the Almighty for all that we have will only speedup up the process!! It worked for me! And I am sure it would for you too, So, Cheers, Get, Set, Go!!!
Friday, September 24, 2010
Little Chaitali - A True Story
Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that a 2 hour stint of volunteering at a local NGO would change my life permanently! It started out quite casually, when my son came home from school telling me about a project work where he would have to do 100 hours of community work and get it certified from an NGO. I googled to find the nearest NGO and stumbled upon a small NGO running an orphanage cum adoption agency.
The next day, after dropping my son at school, I headed to the orphanage. A little apprehensive and not knowing what to expect, I knocked at the door. A smart lady opened the door and welcomed me in. Before I could begin about my son’s project, she spoke about how badly they were in need of volunteers. Before I realized (and Project forgotten), I found myself asking “ would it be OK if come in for 2 hours, say from 10 to 12 in the morning”. Both my children would be at school then”. The lady beamed at me and took me in. The sight that welcomed me would always remain etched in my memory!! The moment we entered, 10 to 12 little angels, surrounded me, chanting “didi,didi”, while two tots hugged my knees”. The love in their eyes was so blatant, that it brought tears to my eyes.
“This is Chaitali”, we have assigned her to you, she is a year and half old, but has problem with her speech”, the lady said and brought a tiny wisp of a child. The child looked so fragile that I thought her bones would break if I carried her! I picked her carefully and pushed back the hair falling into her eyes. Such a sweet angelic face! I couldn’t imagine, which mother in her right mind would abandon such a child?
The lady interrupted my thoughts.”You know, she is a difficult child and has not bonded with anybody yet. Never lasted more than 10 minutes with any of them! You know , she starts crying and has to be taken away. Generally, the children bond very easily with the volunteers coming in, but Chaitali, she even refuses to make eye contact with them”.
“Oh! Don’t worry, I am sure she will be ok’”, I heard myself saying, already thinking of a hundred ways in my mind to bring a smile to the child’s face.
The lady left , saying playfully” Your time starts now”. Slowly I sat down, keeping Chaitali in my lap. For the first few seconds, I just hugged her, letting my body warmth seep into her. I caressed her hair, kissing the top and whispered endearments. Still no response! Slowly I picked up a few toys lying around and made a story of my own and enacted it, all the time holding her close to my heart. The other children, all between 2 to 6 years of age, gathered around me, clearly enjoying the show.
Half an hour later, which seemed like ages to me, Chaitali started picking up the toys and started playing. The lady peeped in and smiled at me.” She seems to like you”! Carry on!”
At the end of my 2 hour session, still chaitali in my lap, I began to gather the toys strewn around and started putting them in the basket. Taking a cue, chaitali too started picking up the toys and started putting them one by one in the basket.The last toy, a piece in the Barbie Ktichen set, had rolled off under her baby chair. She wriggled from my lap, bent under the chair and picked up the toys and for the first time in 2 hours, looked at me, gave me a shy smile and dropped them into the basket.
I couldn’t believe it! I wanted to shout with joy, “Look, she smiled, she looked at me”. I carried her to the lady and took my leave. She gave me a diary to note down my daily progress with Chaitali. “ “Say bye to didi”, Say see you tomorrow to didi”, the lady was prompting Chaitali. She shyly bid me “BYE”.
While walking home with the other volunteers, each narrating their heart wrenching experiences, when their”child” was identified for adoption, I wondered how I would react when Chaitali is eventually identified for adoption. The sight of children craving for tiny crumbs of affection, a warm touch and a gentle hug moved me so much that I knew I was going to be a “regular” here.
At home too, she seemed to be the pivot of my thoughts. I couldn’t stop talking about her to my husband and kids. “You know what chaitali did today”? So much so that my husband and kids would tease me saying they were jealous of “Chaitali”.
Now, it is three weeks, since the first day. The staff at the NGO say “Chaitali is a changed baby”. I see it myself. The moment, she spots me at the door, she comes running and hugs me, the way I hug her. She makes eye contact readily and has even started talking. She has got colour in her cheeks which have filled out now.
I looked back at the last three weeks. All I had given her was love in abundant doses with some hugs and kisses. If love can do so much, why are we so hesitant in sharing our love?? Yes, at the back of my mind, I dread the day, when the lady at the NGO may announce” Chaitali has been identified for adoption”. But I am sure, I will be happy for her, for she will find a new home and more people to love her!!!
Sujatha Natarajan
The next day, after dropping my son at school, I headed to the orphanage. A little apprehensive and not knowing what to expect, I knocked at the door. A smart lady opened the door and welcomed me in. Before I could begin about my son’s project, she spoke about how badly they were in need of volunteers. Before I realized (and Project forgotten), I found myself asking “ would it be OK if come in for 2 hours, say from 10 to 12 in the morning”. Both my children would be at school then”. The lady beamed at me and took me in. The sight that welcomed me would always remain etched in my memory!! The moment we entered, 10 to 12 little angels, surrounded me, chanting “didi,didi”, while two tots hugged my knees”. The love in their eyes was so blatant, that it brought tears to my eyes.
“This is Chaitali”, we have assigned her to you, she is a year and half old, but has problem with her speech”, the lady said and brought a tiny wisp of a child. The child looked so fragile that I thought her bones would break if I carried her! I picked her carefully and pushed back the hair falling into her eyes. Such a sweet angelic face! I couldn’t imagine, which mother in her right mind would abandon such a child?
The lady interrupted my thoughts.”You know, she is a difficult child and has not bonded with anybody yet. Never lasted more than 10 minutes with any of them! You know , she starts crying and has to be taken away. Generally, the children bond very easily with the volunteers coming in, but Chaitali, she even refuses to make eye contact with them”.
“Oh! Don’t worry, I am sure she will be ok’”, I heard myself saying, already thinking of a hundred ways in my mind to bring a smile to the child’s face.
The lady left , saying playfully” Your time starts now”. Slowly I sat down, keeping Chaitali in my lap. For the first few seconds, I just hugged her, letting my body warmth seep into her. I caressed her hair, kissing the top and whispered endearments. Still no response! Slowly I picked up a few toys lying around and made a story of my own and enacted it, all the time holding her close to my heart. The other children, all between 2 to 6 years of age, gathered around me, clearly enjoying the show.
Half an hour later, which seemed like ages to me, Chaitali started picking up the toys and started playing. The lady peeped in and smiled at me.” She seems to like you”! Carry on!”
At the end of my 2 hour session, still chaitali in my lap, I began to gather the toys strewn around and started putting them in the basket. Taking a cue, chaitali too started picking up the toys and started putting them one by one in the basket.The last toy, a piece in the Barbie Ktichen set, had rolled off under her baby chair. She wriggled from my lap, bent under the chair and picked up the toys and for the first time in 2 hours, looked at me, gave me a shy smile and dropped them into the basket.
I couldn’t believe it! I wanted to shout with joy, “Look, she smiled, she looked at me”. I carried her to the lady and took my leave. She gave me a diary to note down my daily progress with Chaitali. “ “Say bye to didi”, Say see you tomorrow to didi”, the lady was prompting Chaitali. She shyly bid me “BYE”.
While walking home with the other volunteers, each narrating their heart wrenching experiences, when their”child” was identified for adoption, I wondered how I would react when Chaitali is eventually identified for adoption. The sight of children craving for tiny crumbs of affection, a warm touch and a gentle hug moved me so much that I knew I was going to be a “regular” here.
At home too, she seemed to be the pivot of my thoughts. I couldn’t stop talking about her to my husband and kids. “You know what chaitali did today”? So much so that my husband and kids would tease me saying they were jealous of “Chaitali”.
Now, it is three weeks, since the first day. The staff at the NGO say “Chaitali is a changed baby”. I see it myself. The moment, she spots me at the door, she comes running and hugs me, the way I hug her. She makes eye contact readily and has even started talking. She has got colour in her cheeks which have filled out now.
I looked back at the last three weeks. All I had given her was love in abundant doses with some hugs and kisses. If love can do so much, why are we so hesitant in sharing our love?? Yes, at the back of my mind, I dread the day, when the lady at the NGO may announce” Chaitali has been identified for adoption”. But I am sure, I will be happy for her, for she will find a new home and more people to love her!!!
Sujatha Natarajan
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