The humble Jack Fruit
Jack Fruit or “Chakka” as we lovingly call in our home town in Kerala has always been my favourite. I remember staring wondrously at those big thorny fruits hugging the sturdy stem of the tree and many hanging precariously from the branches. The rope like stalks held them tightly, lest they would fall from the tree. My grandfather would inspect it every morning and call out to my granny, “moothathedukkatte??” (Shall I pluck the ripe ones?”) My granny would shout back” lets wait till appu , naanu and shanty (my dad, uncle and aunt)come”. They will be here by Vishu”. Vishu always coincided with my birthday on April 14th. Vishu is the ist day of the Malayalam month “Medam” signaling the advent of malayalam new year.We were woken up at 4 am, elders closing our eyes and leading us to the Pooja room to see the “Vishu kani” where amidst the offerings of traditional vegetables and fruits, Lord Krishna’, our presiding deity stood, beautifully decorated . And always occupying the pride of place was the humble jack fruit, its heady fragrance making our mouths water.
My brother, sister , cousins and I would wait till around lunch time when my grandfather would take out the huge jack fruit from the kani and take it to the back yard to be cut. My granny would be ready, handing us a bottle of oil to be rubbed in the hands so that the sap and the juice do not stick to our hands. The overwhelming fragrance of the ripe fruit deliciously assaulting our senses, we would eagerly wait for our turn when our grandfather would give each of us a huge slice, each containing at least 10 to 12 delicious “Chulas”.
And during our fortnightly stay with our grandparents, my grandmother would make various delicacies of jack fruit - jackfruit curry, jackfruit pradhaman, elayada and the most delicious “Chakkavarattiyathu”. This is a jam made out of Jack fruit, Gud and pure desi ghee which remains unspoilt for even A YEAR. This we all carried back to Mumbai as a treat. I know for a fact that I can never get enough of “Chakka”. Jack Fruit in all its forms is just irresistible.
Today, Our grand Parents are no more. My brother, sister and I are all married and settled in Mumbai. We try to make it to Kerala at least once a year, where our Parents have shifted. The family house remains the same with jackfruits, mangoes, coconuts and plantains growing in abundance. My mother has silently taken the role of our granny and she indulges our kids in all the Jackfruit delicacies. My son has inherited my love for “Chakka” , but my daughter finds the smell “too strong” and runs away.
My love for “Chakka” has only grown over the years, especially during summer when I long to have a few “chulas”. Jack fruit is available at times in Mumbai, especially in predominantly south Indian suburbs, but the joy of selecting just the ripe fruit from the tree, and slicing it the right way and relishing it sitting in the back yard of one’s house………………hm…nothing matches that.!!
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
New Year Resolutions
It is that time of the year again to make New Year resolutions. Agreed, We are not celebrities whose resolutions are eagerly awaited for or get talked about. But, if only each one of us are as serious about sticking to our resolutions as we make them…!..Any ways for those who are still undecided about what to resolve this year, here are some handy tips.
Would you believe me, if I say” giving “is much easier than “giving up”?? This New Year we can resolve to give, share, care and we can also resolve to “give up” certain things. There are so many ways to give, so many things to give and so many people to give to. For example, even a smile makes a difference. A warm hand shake, a gentle hug, a patient ear to somebody’s problems, a little of your time, all these can be given without much effort. For those with deep pockets, sky is the limit!
But giving up, really needs a steely resolve. List out what you want to give up?? This requires a bit of honesty, but has excellent results. Do you always turn up late ? Then time to Give up the habit! Do you have this terrible habit of snacking in between meals, which ruins the figure achieved after days of starving? Time to give up that too! Do you have this habit of bitching about someone in front of others? I bet it has strained your relations when the person you bitched about got to know about it! Are you an impulsive shopper who tends to overuse your credit card? Time for that resolution again! List is endless!
Remember, giving and giving up are both emotionally very satisfying. Giving gives joy not only to the recipient, but to the giver also! And do I need to say anything more about giving up? The more of the unwanted things you give up, the better person you become! Anyways, you will be a winner all the way!!! So go ahead! Make those resolutions… and… stick to them, but of course!!
Sujatha Natraj
It is that time of the year again to make New Year resolutions. Agreed, We are not celebrities whose resolutions are eagerly awaited for or get talked about. But, if only each one of us are as serious about sticking to our resolutions as we make them…!..Any ways for those who are still undecided about what to resolve this year, here are some handy tips.
Would you believe me, if I say” giving “is much easier than “giving up”?? This New Year we can resolve to give, share, care and we can also resolve to “give up” certain things. There are so many ways to give, so many things to give and so many people to give to. For example, even a smile makes a difference. A warm hand shake, a gentle hug, a patient ear to somebody’s problems, a little of your time, all these can be given without much effort. For those with deep pockets, sky is the limit!
But giving up, really needs a steely resolve. List out what you want to give up?? This requires a bit of honesty, but has excellent results. Do you always turn up late ? Then time to Give up the habit! Do you have this terrible habit of snacking in between meals, which ruins the figure achieved after days of starving? Time to give up that too! Do you have this habit of bitching about someone in front of others? I bet it has strained your relations when the person you bitched about got to know about it! Are you an impulsive shopper who tends to overuse your credit card? Time for that resolution again! List is endless!
Remember, giving and giving up are both emotionally very satisfying. Giving gives joy not only to the recipient, but to the giver also! And do I need to say anything more about giving up? The more of the unwanted things you give up, the better person you become! Anyways, you will be a winner all the way!!! So go ahead! Make those resolutions… and… stick to them, but of course!!
Sujatha Natraj
Saturday, October 23, 2010
ORIGINALITY
“It better be something original” my teen aged daughter said, when I disclosed, ( not for the first time) that I wanted to start my own blog. “What about a small uncomplicated love story”?? I countered. She sighed “ are love stories ever uncomplicated”? and rolled her expressive eyes . My son who heard this said “ Oh No! Not a love story “and made a suitably disgusting face. He is 15 and refuses to discuss anything other than sports. He suggested” Why don’t you write some thing about god?? God? I wondered aloud. You know, the god who bats at no.4 for India?? he said.
That was not an option, I decided. It had to be something original, I decided, something no body had written about ever. I lamented to my husband there was nothing original left. Take the movies for instance, Everything these days was a remake of this bollywood or Hollywood original And songs, a remix or a straight lift from the original. And many authors copied too. Few had the time or the creativity to create something original. So do I stand a chance??
Unwilling to give up so easily, I listed out the virtues of originals. “ They lasted forever, They were valued and cherished for ever, They had so many followers. One only had to read about the prices an original Picasso or MF Husain fetched in those pricey auctions. Now, our own Gandhi, aptly named by none other than Tagore for being a “ Great soul” was an original. He is remembered for his original idea of “Satyagraha” a most harmless but effective way of protesting.
Unknowingly, my fingers were flying in the keyboard. I poured out my anguish at the lack of originality, at the multitude of versions of every other original. Before I realized, it was 9pm and time for dinner. My son barged in” Mom, what’s for dinner?? My husband added helpfully ”some original recipe, I suppose”, and not the ones you try to copy from those women’s magazines”? Neither, I said tongue in cheek.” I have a very original idea” , We are all going out for dinner today.
Sujatha Natraj
That was not an option, I decided. It had to be something original, I decided, something no body had written about ever. I lamented to my husband there was nothing original left. Take the movies for instance, Everything these days was a remake of this bollywood or Hollywood original And songs, a remix or a straight lift from the original. And many authors copied too. Few had the time or the creativity to create something original. So do I stand a chance??
Unwilling to give up so easily, I listed out the virtues of originals. “ They lasted forever, They were valued and cherished for ever, They had so many followers. One only had to read about the prices an original Picasso or MF Husain fetched in those pricey auctions. Now, our own Gandhi, aptly named by none other than Tagore for being a “ Great soul” was an original. He is remembered for his original idea of “Satyagraha” a most harmless but effective way of protesting.
Unknowingly, my fingers were flying in the keyboard. I poured out my anguish at the lack of originality, at the multitude of versions of every other original. Before I realized, it was 9pm and time for dinner. My son barged in” Mom, what’s for dinner?? My husband added helpfully ”some original recipe, I suppose”, and not the ones you try to copy from those women’s magazines”? Neither, I said tongue in cheek.” I have a very original idea” , We are all going out for dinner today.
Sujatha Natraj
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Dealing with disappointment
I am sure every one of us has been disappointed, terribly disappointed, or frustratingly disappointed at some point of our life. And when we don’t know how to deal with it, it just seems to happen more often. Haven’t we often cried out ”Oh, why it had to happen to me?. From a child, who burns midnight oil before the exams and ends up getting just average marks, a teen age boy who goes all out to woo the new girl in his class, like having a new hair cut, wearing the right brand of jeans, shoes and tees, only to see the girl walking hand in hand with a very attractive guy and a newly married girl who tries to cook up the best food for her husband only to see her husband gobbling it up without uttering a word of appreciation. Some of us give vent to our frustration and give a piece of our mind then and there, more often than not, to regret it later. Some of us wallow in self pity, “ It always happens to me, I put in my best, but just doesn’t seem to work for me”!
So, how does one deal with these “disappointments”? Especially when we think we have tried our best?? May be the ”best “ was not enough! But should we stop trying? Never! An introspection with a calm mind would tell us where we could have done a little better. Like the child would realize, I should have started studying from the beginning of the term, rather than cram just before the exams. The teen aged boy is sure to find another girl, who will love him for what he is and the new daughter in law would understand that not that her husband did not like her cooking, he just did not know how to express his feelings!
There are always lessons learnt from each situation in our life. Acceptance and Perseverance will surely help us deal with most of the disappointments in our life. Acceptance of the situation, of the people around us as well as perseverance with a focused mind would definitely help us get over difficult situations. Of course, a few generous doses of gratitude towards the Almighty for all that we have will only speedup up the process!! It worked for me! And I am sure it would for you too, So, Cheers, Get, Set, Go!!!
So, how does one deal with these “disappointments”? Especially when we think we have tried our best?? May be the ”best “ was not enough! But should we stop trying? Never! An introspection with a calm mind would tell us where we could have done a little better. Like the child would realize, I should have started studying from the beginning of the term, rather than cram just before the exams. The teen aged boy is sure to find another girl, who will love him for what he is and the new daughter in law would understand that not that her husband did not like her cooking, he just did not know how to express his feelings!
There are always lessons learnt from each situation in our life. Acceptance and Perseverance will surely help us deal with most of the disappointments in our life. Acceptance of the situation, of the people around us as well as perseverance with a focused mind would definitely help us get over difficult situations. Of course, a few generous doses of gratitude towards the Almighty for all that we have will only speedup up the process!! It worked for me! And I am sure it would for you too, So, Cheers, Get, Set, Go!!!
Friday, September 24, 2010
Little Chaitali - A True Story
Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that a 2 hour stint of volunteering at a local NGO would change my life permanently! It started out quite casually, when my son came home from school telling me about a project work where he would have to do 100 hours of community work and get it certified from an NGO. I googled to find the nearest NGO and stumbled upon a small NGO running an orphanage cum adoption agency.
The next day, after dropping my son at school, I headed to the orphanage. A little apprehensive and not knowing what to expect, I knocked at the door. A smart lady opened the door and welcomed me in. Before I could begin about my son’s project, she spoke about how badly they were in need of volunteers. Before I realized (and Project forgotten), I found myself asking “ would it be OK if come in for 2 hours, say from 10 to 12 in the morning”. Both my children would be at school then”. The lady beamed at me and took me in. The sight that welcomed me would always remain etched in my memory!! The moment we entered, 10 to 12 little angels, surrounded me, chanting “didi,didi”, while two tots hugged my knees”. The love in their eyes was so blatant, that it brought tears to my eyes.
“This is Chaitali”, we have assigned her to you, she is a year and half old, but has problem with her speech”, the lady said and brought a tiny wisp of a child. The child looked so fragile that I thought her bones would break if I carried her! I picked her carefully and pushed back the hair falling into her eyes. Such a sweet angelic face! I couldn’t imagine, which mother in her right mind would abandon such a child?
The lady interrupted my thoughts.”You know, she is a difficult child and has not bonded with anybody yet. Never lasted more than 10 minutes with any of them! You know , she starts crying and has to be taken away. Generally, the children bond very easily with the volunteers coming in, but Chaitali, she even refuses to make eye contact with them”.
“Oh! Don’t worry, I am sure she will be ok’”, I heard myself saying, already thinking of a hundred ways in my mind to bring a smile to the child’s face.
The lady left , saying playfully” Your time starts now”. Slowly I sat down, keeping Chaitali in my lap. For the first few seconds, I just hugged her, letting my body warmth seep into her. I caressed her hair, kissing the top and whispered endearments. Still no response! Slowly I picked up a few toys lying around and made a story of my own and enacted it, all the time holding her close to my heart. The other children, all between 2 to 6 years of age, gathered around me, clearly enjoying the show.
Half an hour later, which seemed like ages to me, Chaitali started picking up the toys and started playing. The lady peeped in and smiled at me.” She seems to like you”! Carry on!”
At the end of my 2 hour session, still chaitali in my lap, I began to gather the toys strewn around and started putting them in the basket. Taking a cue, chaitali too started picking up the toys and started putting them one by one in the basket.The last toy, a piece in the Barbie Ktichen set, had rolled off under her baby chair. She wriggled from my lap, bent under the chair and picked up the toys and for the first time in 2 hours, looked at me, gave me a shy smile and dropped them into the basket.
I couldn’t believe it! I wanted to shout with joy, “Look, she smiled, she looked at me”. I carried her to the lady and took my leave. She gave me a diary to note down my daily progress with Chaitali. “ “Say bye to didi”, Say see you tomorrow to didi”, the lady was prompting Chaitali. She shyly bid me “BYE”.
While walking home with the other volunteers, each narrating their heart wrenching experiences, when their”child” was identified for adoption, I wondered how I would react when Chaitali is eventually identified for adoption. The sight of children craving for tiny crumbs of affection, a warm touch and a gentle hug moved me so much that I knew I was going to be a “regular” here.
At home too, she seemed to be the pivot of my thoughts. I couldn’t stop talking about her to my husband and kids. “You know what chaitali did today”? So much so that my husband and kids would tease me saying they were jealous of “Chaitali”.
Now, it is three weeks, since the first day. The staff at the NGO say “Chaitali is a changed baby”. I see it myself. The moment, she spots me at the door, she comes running and hugs me, the way I hug her. She makes eye contact readily and has even started talking. She has got colour in her cheeks which have filled out now.
I looked back at the last three weeks. All I had given her was love in abundant doses with some hugs and kisses. If love can do so much, why are we so hesitant in sharing our love?? Yes, at the back of my mind, I dread the day, when the lady at the NGO may announce” Chaitali has been identified for adoption”. But I am sure, I will be happy for her, for she will find a new home and more people to love her!!!
Sujatha Natarajan
The next day, after dropping my son at school, I headed to the orphanage. A little apprehensive and not knowing what to expect, I knocked at the door. A smart lady opened the door and welcomed me in. Before I could begin about my son’s project, she spoke about how badly they were in need of volunteers. Before I realized (and Project forgotten), I found myself asking “ would it be OK if come in for 2 hours, say from 10 to 12 in the morning”. Both my children would be at school then”. The lady beamed at me and took me in. The sight that welcomed me would always remain etched in my memory!! The moment we entered, 10 to 12 little angels, surrounded me, chanting “didi,didi”, while two tots hugged my knees”. The love in their eyes was so blatant, that it brought tears to my eyes.
“This is Chaitali”, we have assigned her to you, she is a year and half old, but has problem with her speech”, the lady said and brought a tiny wisp of a child. The child looked so fragile that I thought her bones would break if I carried her! I picked her carefully and pushed back the hair falling into her eyes. Such a sweet angelic face! I couldn’t imagine, which mother in her right mind would abandon such a child?
The lady interrupted my thoughts.”You know, she is a difficult child and has not bonded with anybody yet. Never lasted more than 10 minutes with any of them! You know , she starts crying and has to be taken away. Generally, the children bond very easily with the volunteers coming in, but Chaitali, she even refuses to make eye contact with them”.
“Oh! Don’t worry, I am sure she will be ok’”, I heard myself saying, already thinking of a hundred ways in my mind to bring a smile to the child’s face.
The lady left , saying playfully” Your time starts now”. Slowly I sat down, keeping Chaitali in my lap. For the first few seconds, I just hugged her, letting my body warmth seep into her. I caressed her hair, kissing the top and whispered endearments. Still no response! Slowly I picked up a few toys lying around and made a story of my own and enacted it, all the time holding her close to my heart. The other children, all between 2 to 6 years of age, gathered around me, clearly enjoying the show.
Half an hour later, which seemed like ages to me, Chaitali started picking up the toys and started playing. The lady peeped in and smiled at me.” She seems to like you”! Carry on!”
At the end of my 2 hour session, still chaitali in my lap, I began to gather the toys strewn around and started putting them in the basket. Taking a cue, chaitali too started picking up the toys and started putting them one by one in the basket.The last toy, a piece in the Barbie Ktichen set, had rolled off under her baby chair. She wriggled from my lap, bent under the chair and picked up the toys and for the first time in 2 hours, looked at me, gave me a shy smile and dropped them into the basket.
I couldn’t believe it! I wanted to shout with joy, “Look, she smiled, she looked at me”. I carried her to the lady and took my leave. She gave me a diary to note down my daily progress with Chaitali. “ “Say bye to didi”, Say see you tomorrow to didi”, the lady was prompting Chaitali. She shyly bid me “BYE”.
While walking home with the other volunteers, each narrating their heart wrenching experiences, when their”child” was identified for adoption, I wondered how I would react when Chaitali is eventually identified for adoption. The sight of children craving for tiny crumbs of affection, a warm touch and a gentle hug moved me so much that I knew I was going to be a “regular” here.
At home too, she seemed to be the pivot of my thoughts. I couldn’t stop talking about her to my husband and kids. “You know what chaitali did today”? So much so that my husband and kids would tease me saying they were jealous of “Chaitali”.
Now, it is three weeks, since the first day. The staff at the NGO say “Chaitali is a changed baby”. I see it myself. The moment, she spots me at the door, she comes running and hugs me, the way I hug her. She makes eye contact readily and has even started talking. She has got colour in her cheeks which have filled out now.
I looked back at the last three weeks. All I had given her was love in abundant doses with some hugs and kisses. If love can do so much, why are we so hesitant in sharing our love?? Yes, at the back of my mind, I dread the day, when the lady at the NGO may announce” Chaitali has been identified for adoption”. But I am sure, I will be happy for her, for she will find a new home and more people to love her!!!
Sujatha Natarajan
The verdict
Is the average man you find on the streets worried about the”verdict”? The news channel have not stopped talking about it. The government has left no stone unturned to rein in the untoward eventualities. The verdict might swing either way. But should we worry about it? Agreed, most of the Hindus would indignantly ask “ In our own land, we can’t even build a temple to our lord”? Ayodhya has always been Ramjanambhoomi”. And what about the average muslim for whom the wounds of demolition of Babri masjid have not yet healed?? So what is the solution??
What better temple for Ram than in our own hearts?? And is not God everywhere, does one need to go to a mosque to offer prayers??? Friends, Karl Marx has likened religion to opium. An overdose can get one intoxicated. Aren’t there enough temples, mosques & churches that you need to add one more?? Or aren’t there enough issues to worry about? Neither Ram nor Allah would want people to kill one another for a temple or a mosque.
If each one of us, start thinking and believing we are “INDIANS FIRST’ and then a Hindu, Muslim, Sikh or a Christian, then half the task is accomplished. Sadly India is divided by the very diversity it is known for; We have a Hindu law, Christian marriage Act, and “Shariat”and so on.
Religion is like a beautiful garland, but the moment a monkey gets hold of it, what happens to it? Sometimes it garlands itself, and sometimes it tramples it under its feet. We have to be beware of such monkeys! Religion should belong to its rightful place, in our homes and protected like our most personal possession. It should be a beacon in our lives, leading us in the right path.
Tamasoma Jyotirgamaya!! From darkness, let there be light”!!! May the God lead us all from the darkness of ignorance to the light of wisdom!!
What better temple for Ram than in our own hearts?? And is not God everywhere, does one need to go to a mosque to offer prayers??? Friends, Karl Marx has likened religion to opium. An overdose can get one intoxicated. Aren’t there enough temples, mosques & churches that you need to add one more?? Or aren’t there enough issues to worry about? Neither Ram nor Allah would want people to kill one another for a temple or a mosque.
If each one of us, start thinking and believing we are “INDIANS FIRST’ and then a Hindu, Muslim, Sikh or a Christian, then half the task is accomplished. Sadly India is divided by the very diversity it is known for; We have a Hindu law, Christian marriage Act, and “Shariat”and so on.
Religion is like a beautiful garland, but the moment a monkey gets hold of it, what happens to it? Sometimes it garlands itself, and sometimes it tramples it under its feet. We have to be beware of such monkeys! Religion should belong to its rightful place, in our homes and protected like our most personal possession. It should be a beacon in our lives, leading us in the right path.
Tamasoma Jyotirgamaya!! From darkness, let there be light”!!! May the God lead us all from the darkness of ignorance to the light of wisdom!!
Monday, September 13, 2010
Never meant to be...
Never meant to be………
Her mouth formed a perfect”O” and a fair, long fingered hand went upto her mouth. Dave!!
“Dave!!! After all these days, years,…..Where were you?? Not a single call, not a reply to my letters”!!! He had expected it!
She looked even more beautiful than he remembered. Her freshly scrubbed face, glowed, perhaps, of the new found love. “Please , he said,Jayu, please….can I come in??” His heart thundered against his chest, threatening to break out any time. It had been always like this…whenever he looked at her….
She stepped back from the door, motioning him in into the spacious, yet well appointed living room. He looked around and thought, “Sure enough! Mrs. Jayanthi Mahesh” is doing very well for herself. His eyes stopped at the framed photo of the newly weds, Jayanthi,(his “jayu) and Mahesh, her husband. Jayu was smiling into the camera and her husband had a possessive hand around her hips. Six years later, it still hurt. It shouldn’t have, damn it!
She followed his eyes and said a little too brightly, “yes, it’s been three months now. Slowly he looked up at her asked”Why Jayu, Why you did not reply to my letters???”
“Me?” She said indignantly, “you did not bother to write even once. After my dad was transferred from Trichy to Ahemdabad, I did write to you”.
“Yes, you had, but there was no return address in it. Many things have happened since, Soon after your family left, I lost my dad and my mom couldn’t get over it.. I was in the third year of my engineering. I took up an evening job and managed my studies too. Unable to pay the rent, we shifted to my maternal uncles’s place. After I graduated,my uncle got me this job abroad.The first thing I adid after I got a job was to start looking for you, through some common friends. Here I am, traced you through orkut. But I am late aren’t I”???
With a heavy heart, Jayu remembered how her father had got transferred to Trichy when she was in the 10th standard. Dave and family were their neighbours. Initially, her orthodox Brahmin parents had a tough time adjusting to their non vegetarian Christian neighbours. But once the initial hurdles were overcome, they became friends. The friendship between Jayanthi and Dave too, started off innocently, with her asking him doubts in maths, and he being 3 years her senior, helping her out. But slowly, it blossomed into love. Flush with their new found love, they cherished each moment of togetherness. Little did they know what destiny had in store for them!
When she went to him to ask her math problems,( it was only a pretext to talk to him, she later confessed) he would look around , make sure their parents were not around, hold her hand and put to his chest, “listen Jayu, this maddening sound of my heart? It goes crazy, you know, every time you come near me”, he would whisper in her ears. This, this is what you do to me”. She would listen to it , with her own heart racing maddeningly and slowly withdraw her hand secretly proud of how much he loved her. She always looked forward to the stolen moments when their parents had gone out, or on her way back from school, he would join her in the bus journey back home. They made plans for the future, he would finish his engineering, get a job and come and ask for her hand.
It was not long before both the parents got wind of this blossoming love. As expected, Jayu’s father flew into a rage, but was clever enough not to show it on his face. He quickly applied for a transfer to a place “as far as possible”. Jayu and Dave, blissfully unaware of her father’s plans, continued to meet whenever possible, till one day, her father said, Jayu, our train is at 2.30,we are leaving today. I am transferred to Ahmedabad”.
She was stunned, “Dad, but you never told, you must have known it for some time”, she said accusingly. Yes he said unmovingly, “I have known “this”for quiet some time now”, leaving her to wonder what he meant after all.
At the sound of the phone ringing, she came out of her reverie and ran to pick it up, “Yes Mahesh, yeah, I am fine, was in the kitchen,…… got tickets for the movie…..grt…bye..hmm, no not over the phone,..no, bye”.
Obviously, it was her new husband, Dave realized. The time had come to tell her why he had come all the way to see her inspite of knowing she was married. Jayu, he called her and made her sit down. “Wonder why I came all the way?? For years, I had wondered, why you never wrote to me?? Did you love me? Did it mean anything at all to you?? I have spent nights wondering, where you were. Was it like this for you also?? Tell me , Jayu, I had to know this”.
She choked, ‘Yes Dave, it still hurts somewhere in the corner of my heart when I see you like this…Yes my thoughts , more often than not, are about you. I realized it is not easy to forget the first love of my life.Then days grew into months and years, and still I did not hear from you, I thought.. may be , but may be, you had forgotten me. At one point of time, I had to give in to my parents. But not that I blame Mahesh, He has been really good to me”, Perhaps, more than what I deserve!”
Having found his answer,he stood up slowly and turned towards the door.
“Jayu, Dave said, “In a couple of months, I am getting married, to a girl of my mother’s choice, but I just wanted to see you once, to ask you, to see if my heart still went crazy when I came near you”.
Inspite of herself, She asked in a whisper, “ Does it?? Does it still”?. Slowly, like he always had done, he picked her hand and put it to his chest. It thudded heavily for a few seconds and slowly settled into a rhythmic beat.
Jayyu, , he said, “Thinking , what could have been between us……, she slowly put her hand and closed his mouth.
“It was never meant to be……. Dave….never meant to be………Be happy. Be always happy”, and silently shut the door behind her.
Sujatha Natarajan
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)